Its been awhile.

I went on vacation. Communed with nature. Really needed that. Hiked alot. Spent some time with
my aunt who is an artist. Which really reaffirmed my view of her as a kind and loving person. Not because she gave me a piece of original art. Its just what I saw in her. Had dinner with my other aunt and some other family members and for the first time felt like we were a family. Very strange thing.
Wasnt expect to feel that way.

My sister got engaged. Which while I am happy for her I am slighty jealous. More for the fact that I havent been proposed to. Something I had not realized I wanted.

Plants are doing well my lavender and lemon balm are doing great. Rose is also. Couldnt revive the mint. If I can I will try finding another plant.

Huge tempreture difference between here and where I was on vacation. Having to readjust to the heat.

Apparently a power outage killed most of our food supply. Though how you can have a power outage in just one section of the home I dont know. However I am hopeful that I will be cooking again soon.

So its been awhile...I think. Im not so good with time. Lets see what have I been up to, ah! My mom and I made a nice vase out of a glass bottle. Getting the stickers off of it however is a problem. I put vegetable oil on them and waited over night. didnt work. Oh well, try try again. Most of my plants are doing well. With exceptions being the echincea, chamomile mint and oddly enough one of my cacti. This is the first time Ive had problems with one. I have quite a few succulents and cacti for some reason I find them cute. My aunt went to see the Dalai Lama when he was in Washington DC. She sent me a box full of cool stuff.  It was like my birthday. Cooking alot lately. Since my mother gets quite stressed out from work and my niece. I enjoy cooking there is something so satisfying about creating something and having people truly enjoy it. I am trying to drink more tea. I made a lemon ice tea which I was afraid was going to be overly tart however it was just right. I would like to make some desserts, however most of the house is on a diet.

Well I had better get started on my day.

Lately, I have recieved several invitations to movies. I tend not to see movies in the theatre unless it is something that I believe will be improved by being on the big screen. So I am going to review the movies
I have gone to see and also one I rented.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 2 - I was really really excited about going to see this. However

I feel that many things that were shown in the movie were not needed and the things they did show were not explained clearly. Not to spoil anything but for me the ending was not nearly as exciting or epic as in the book. However, thinking of it as its own movie I find it enjoyable.Very shiny as far as special effects go. Harry the Potter and the Dark Golem of Claymore...gets a Tea Cup Half full. lol.

Captain America - I wasnt so sure that I wanted to see this initially. Not that I have anything against

comics being turned into movies. I do enjoy the action based movies. Anyway to get back to the point.

The actors were great, they gave enough backstory to make sense. Again shiny graphics. Action scenes were well done. At the end of the movie, I felt that this version of Captain America was one that could be believed in. If he was actually real. I give it a full Tea Cup.

Cowboys and Aliens - Another movie I had not expected to see. Excellent cast. Harrison Ford actually seemed to be enjoying acting in this movie. Which is nice. Interesting story though some things should of taken longer to happen. Shiny graphics for the aliens not so much for the cowboys. Some gore. Mainly in the beginning. I always enjoy watching Daniel Craig so that was an added plus. 3/4 full tea cup. Due to odd pacing of one charaters development and the stereoptypes.

Source Code- I rented it off of iTunes. A great suprise to me that I enjoyed it. Very interesting plot involving a pilot who wakes up in another mans body and has to go through the process of living that persons last 8 minutes of life over and over to successfully complete his mission. Nice shine on the graphics. I feel it had good acting. Also that it shows alot of the virtue compassion. Full Cup of Tea.

Well I hope you enjoyed this utterly random movie review. Have a good day.  

Ive been in a bit of a funk lately, as I have been working through some emotional stuff. So I thought it might be a good time to talk a little about the importance of working out our stuff. We all have drama in our lives, bad things happen and seemingly outway the good. The reason I think its a good idea to work through our issues is that it really affects how we precieve the world and respond to it. To give a an example of a perception would be not seeing how many options we really have because whatever is happening is clouding up the view of those options. Gives a sort of tunnel vision. This is something I have experienced myself. Some reccomendations with dealing with issues that keep popping up in ones life is to take a step back look at the big picture, see what this issue is connected to. Take yourself out of the issue  and try to look at it as if you were an another person watching happen. Remember you always have choices. Finally try to do the next thing. Whatever that next thing is if its walking over to a chair and sitting do it. Then do the next thing after that. Give yourself a break from what is happening. Focus on that next thing  and keep it there. Until your ready to face the issue again.

I am not a pyschologist or a pyschiatrist. However I am a person who has been there and is still struggling with my own issues. I believe there is always hope and that we all can move beyond whatever issues we may have. Also its pretty hard to relax when we have something bugging us. Though Im

sure thats something everyone notices.

Mini-Post

Having some trouble figuring out how to respond to comments.

However I really appreciate what has been said.

Thank you Ant and Fresh Garden :)

One thing that I have found works for calming oneself during a time of depression, is movies. Not just
any movies, these movies have to take you to your happy place. They can be heartwarming or comedic,
as long as they can reduce the feelings of sadness/or stress inside. The movie will fit the bill. For me personally, Miyazaki's films are my happy place and also movies that are silly like Megamind. Children's movies are good for this. Recently, I watched Brother Bear and was suprised at what a good movie it was. With the added plus of cheering up. Many of us have access to movies be it through dvds or the interweb. I rent movies off of Itunes from time to time.

In related news. Harry Potter! I have greatly enjoyed the films (also the books) and have gone out of my way to see them in the theatre. So I am very excited to see this one. I hope there is a movie out their that everyone is looking forward to watching.

Ive been making a lot of iced tea, since it is summer afterall. One tea Ive found to be very refreshing on a really hot day is mint. In the specifics its called mint medley which is something I generally enjoy during the winter season. However after trying a flavored water called Metromint and then realizing it was a difficult to find item. I decided I was going to try and find something similarly refreshing. On a really hot day the mint ice tea really hits the spot. I highly reccomended this to those in warmer climates.

Any suggestions on teas that are refreshing during summer?

An example of what I do to relax is growing plants. I have limited space to work with so the plants are all in pots. However, I find that getting to watch a tiny little sprout grow into something magnificent. What is being grown currently is mostly herbs, lemon balm, lavender, peppermint, german chamomile, and anise. First harvests on both the german chamomile and the anise. Currently in the process of drying. Ive successfully made tisanes/herbal teas out of the peppermint and the lemon balm. As I get more herbs, my plan is to begin to make different blends. I also grow some flowers. I have a white rose that has been given the name the snow white by my niece (age 3), also a white peony and another rose much smaller than the white rose it has dark red blooms. I have one tree a cedar that is not large. There once was three, the climate where I live does not suit them. So its been a struggle, I am very grateful to have the one tree doing well. This particular hobby may not suit everybody, though I have found it both relaxing and rewarding.

Alright. I have an admission to make. During the month of june, I allowed my depression to take over my life. I had taken hold of this idea that somehow I have had no accomplishments in my life. Which while this is probably not true, its something that stuck in my head. In response to my depression, I stopped doing the things the I love, the things I should do (like self care), and stopped trying.
Now I need to pull my head out of this web ive got it stuck in. So, Im going to do my best to continue
to try and better myself. Relaxation is key to my self care, as it is not something my body does on its own. (actually taking meds for muscle relaxation.)

Ive gotten some inspiration to try again from some wonderful podcasts so I am going to list them here.

The Pagan Homesteader
Crash Test Kitchen
Buddhist Geeks
Inciting a Riot

Thank you.

Today is my birthday. It isnt something I look forward to every year. The same rituals are performed.
Pick out something for dinner and a dessert. Open presents. This year as in many years in the past
I am unenthusiastic about this event. So I made a couple entirely silly decisions. The first, that the month of June was my birth month therefore the age and actual date no longer matter. Also that the celebration of the birth month makes me feel alot better than dreading a specific date every year.
The second idea, I had some time ago and its worked itself into my day to day life. The birthday minute. Twice a day, the numbers of the month and day show up on our clocks. Why not take a moment and be glad to be alive.

So what I did on my birthday. I had pizza and tiramisu. Took a long nap and was happy that people
cared enough to tell me they were glad I exist.

Edited: Due to making the mistake of posting while tired.

Mini Post: Thoughts on grieving.

One cannot grieve all ills in the world and be able to live their own life as well. The depth of sadness would be beyond a humans capability. Which is why perhaps we have such short memories. So it is completely fair for a person to grieve of things which occur in their own life. As everyone has a right to their emotion. It is also good to have compassion for others who suffer for we all do in some form or another. However putting all your energy into someone else's misfortune means that you wont be investing enough into your own life.

Home at last. While to be honest I would have preferred to stay in the small quiet town where I was vacationing. I think that being home will be alright. The house needed alot of gardening work done, so we weeded until last friday. Weeding is strangely theraputic. Maybe its the pulling action which is like ripping away the stress or perhaps it is the repetitive action. In any case as a person who enjoys gardening, it was soothing for me. It rained quite abit there. I enjoyed mugs of tea and listening to the rain. I read several books while I was gone. All of which can be found on amazon. The Key and the name of the key is willingness (Cheri Huber), is a great book from a zen perspective. It focuses alot on the mind states that cause us to become stressed, and also mind states that allow us to look inward. Find an understanding of ourselves. Speaking of finding an understanding, I begun a process that comes from the book Soul Coaching (Denise Linn) which is really focusing on the purification of self in all of its aspects. It is a month long program normally, however Ive decided to allow myself as much time to complete this process as is needed. So I am still very early on in the program. I will give some updates on that from time to time. The other books I read while away are as follows, Finding your own north star (Martha Beck), Saturn Apartments #2 (Hisae Iwaoka) and The Lost Hero (Rick Riordan.) I dont limit myself to any particular genre so I am always finding something to read. Reading for me is a really great way to relax. In a way when reading we become those characters and experience what they are. I find that very interesting, also useful to the learning process. Sometimes learning different things can come from suprising places. A fantasy novel, video game or just observing the scenery go by as you look out a window. Scenery in mind, I do plan to post some photos from my trip. Unfortunatly
my camera is broken. However my mother allowed me to use hers. Very nice of her in my opinion. Well I hope next time I post here I hope to discuss working with plants, and hobbies. Ciao!

Since tomorrow is the end of the world, my family decided this would be a good time to take a weeklong vacation. Where we are going doesnt have an internet connection. So I will be unable to post anything new here. However, ideas have been forming in my head. Thus I will be studying for much of my vacation. Some of the topics I will be looking into are meditation, affirmations, hiking, brainwaves, mind states (as in emotional mindsets) and philosophy. Hopefully I will also get some writing done.
Also because this is a journey I am also taking. I will be doing the things that I talk about and giving my opinion on them.

Relaxing: the act of releasing stress. There are as many reasons for choosing to do this as there are methods. In the atmosphere of the modern world, stress has become a problem that is compounded by many factors. Relationships, jobs and unforseen circumstances these are all contributers. Luckily there has been study into relaxation for thousands of years and in all cultures. Thus we have options such as meditation, yoga, sports, and hobbies.

An important factor in relieving stress is understanding why it is there in the first place. Depending on the situation we may be influenced to do things that otherwise are not in our nature. It is important to recognize behaviors, actions and situations that increase our stress levels.

Over the course of this blog it is my intent to explore and experience the many ways people have relieved stress.